lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
