It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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