Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
