We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
