i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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