I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize