You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
