i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
