we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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