Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
