Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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