I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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