im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
