Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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