i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have aggressive nipples.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
