I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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