Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Quick, to the slutcave!
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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