you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
