Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
