There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
