Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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