i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
