So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize