The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So vagazzling was a success
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
