im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
