C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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