So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
