i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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