Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
