Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
