After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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