Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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