Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
