Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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