i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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