ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
