I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
