at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
