I think i peed on brittanys purse
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
