nut hugger
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize