Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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