As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
