I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
