i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
