After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize