they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
