naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
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