I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
