just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
