Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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