We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
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