so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize