I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
