I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
