At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
