Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
two words: eviction party
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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