i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
