dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
