SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
