Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
