Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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