Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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