just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
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