i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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