this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
