She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
