i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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