Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
