Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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