i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
