What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
